"I really like this café," exclaimed the youth with
spiked hair. He opened the door for his companion.

      A waitress with bouncy curls rushed to seat the 
handsome boys. She led them to one of the best tables in 
the café reserved for frequent customers. The table was 
on a raised platform and near a shaded window. Through the
window, a spectacular view of a Romanesque fountain can be
seen.

      "Akira-kun, cappuccino for you," the waitress asked 
suggestively.
      "Yes, please," Sendoh replied with his usual smile.
      "And what of your handsome friend?"
      Knowing that he was being addressed to, Rukawa said,
"Green tea."

      The waitress walked away with a lilting gait. 
Sendoh's smile died on his lips as he felt the penetrating
stare of Rukawa.

      "Ru, are you okay?" Sendoh wondered. Is he still 
feeling ill? Why green tea?
      "Yes."
      "Are you feeling faint?"
      "No." You don't know why I chose green tea? I am 
addicted to green tea, just like I am addicted to....

      "So, about yesterday's basketball game, what'd you 
think? I really like Kobe Bryant....." Sendoh tried to 
bring up a topic that would interest Rukawa for the time 
being. He smiled uneasily as he continued his chatter 
trying to prolong the conversation.
      "Un." Rukawa answered half-heartedly. The tea is 
here, he knew before it's even placed onto the table. 
Rukawa will never forget the redolence emitted by that 
specific type of tea.
      "Here you go," the waitress beamed as she served the
boys their respective drinks. She retreated just as quickly
as she came.

      Rukawa's hands instinctively sought the warmth of the
tea. He breathed in its essence, drawing deep breaths, as 
if he depended on it to breathe. The feelings of that day 
came flooding back to him. That day, he realized for the 
first time in his life, he has feelings for the one sitting
across from him. He closed his eyes and the memory of their
impassioned kiss a month ago appeared in front of his eyes.

    **************************************************

      Sendoh was the first one to pull away, he remembered.

      "I'm sor--"
      "Don't say sorry." I don't regret it....

      Stunned by the anger of Rukawa's voice, Sendoh became
silent.

      "I like the kiss." I am attracted to you. The words 
were laced with Rukawa's unleashed emotions.
      "......" Sendoh was speechless, because he did not 
know how to deal with Rukawa's frankness. He opened his 
mouth to say something, but he didn't know what to say. What
can I say? I just kissed a guy, I.....

      Rukawa continued to look at Sendoh, as if challenging 
Sendoh to look away.
      But Sendoh did not look away. Instead, Sendoh 
enveloped Rukawa in a hug and stroked his soft locks gently.

      "Ru--Kaede..." Sendoh whispered into Rukawa's hair.
      "Akira, I like you," Rukawa said against Sendoh's hard
chest.

      He remembered after that, he drank the tea. Then he 
slept until the next day. He woke up and realized Sendoh was 
already up and he had made breakfast for him. It was their 
first breakfast together. Somewhat leisurely, they enjoyed 
each other's company while eating breakfast, and digesting 
the fact that they both have feelings for each other. For the
most part, it's Rukawa, who has realized his attraction to 
Sendoh.

      Everyday after that Saturday, they would spend time 
together after classes were over. They would meet either at 
the park so they can have a one-on-one practice, or they 
would meet up at a specific place. Every time, Sendoh would 
greet Rukawa with his drugging smile. Whether they were 
together watching a movie, shopping for clothes in Champion's,
or just lounging in Sendoh's dormitory, the feeling 
intensified for Rukawa. I am the only one dependent on the 
other one of us in this relationship...
      Never once could he return the seamless smile Sendoh 
gave him. Instead, he was a flower basking in the sunlight 
Akira shed onto him. He realized his loneliness when he parted
with Sendoh every night. Can you see how I feel?
      Do you know how I feel? How did you weave your way into 
my heart?
      Was it the kisses we shared after I fall once again for 
you guileless smiles? Your kisses--how can I forget? I want to
absorb your light through our kisses. It's my only outlet to 
let you know how I feel. Can you feel it? I wonder. Why do I 
drink green tea? The scent reminds me of us? It's more 
intriguing than any the cologne you wear? but...why....
      Why am I a friend when I'm in the public with you? Why 
am I your loved one when I'm alone with you? Do you know the 
pain I feel when you tell me you like me when we are alone, 
but barely acknowledge me when we are seen? You want time? I 
will give you time. I like you, Akira, I really do.

     **************************************************

      Rukawa's face, however, told a different story. His cool
exterior did not betray his thoughts in turmoil.

      "I know you want to tell me something."
      "Uh.. I... want to talk to you.. about us."

      Sendoh didn't want it to be like this. He really didn't. 
I really like you, but it's not enough. I've seen the way 
others look at us. You deserve better. You should lead a 
healthy life, not with me. Why don't you go out with girls? 
Why can't you like a girl instead of me? The backlash will 
begin soon, when others find out what's between us. We'll both 
be better off this way---while we are not too deep into it. He
logically told himself--but it's painful even though he knew 
he's doing the right thing......

      "Remember I told you that day at my house.... I want us 
to try."
      I am trying, you aren't trying hard enough. Rukawa's 
hands tightened on his cup. He knew it was coming--
      "Kaede, forgive me. I can't be nonchalant and uncaring 
to those around me."
      Sendoh's face was etched in sadness. He lied through his 
teeth.
      What about me? You care about others, and yet you would 
leave me because of their opinions? Do I mean so little to 
you? He felt the pain of a sword piercing straight through his 
heart. So this is heartache. He let out a rueful smile.
      "Kaede, I really---" Not expecting the smile, Sendoh 
worried.
      "No. You've said your piece," Rukawa fought to keep his 
composure intact, "we had fun while it lasted." Rukawa had 
always prided himself on how he could look indifferent at any 
given moment, no matter how he felt on the inside, even when 
his heart was constricting by the second.
      "I will try to be 'normal' from now on," Rukawa said in 
his passionless voice.
      Sendoh felt his heart wrench painfully. You're not 
abnormal....I'm the one who's at fault. I should never have let
us begin. I never should have gone that far......
      "Kaede--"
      "Rukawa. We should call each other by our last names now."
      No....I just want you to lead a healthy life.....you 
deserve better, you don't deserve the awkward stares and the 
demeaning comments.
      "I have to go now. Thanks for the tea." Rukawa looked at 
the cup of tepid tea in front of him. In one gulp he tossed it 
down. I will never drink green tea anymore.

      Rukawa stood up. He took in Sendoh--his face, his hair, 
his once smiling lips...... Then he turned and headed towards 
the door, back straight, never once looking back.

      "Kaede--I never meant for it to be like this... I want us 
to be friends........"
      Sendoh's whispered words would come back to haunt him. 
His heart was raw and bleeding as he saw Rukawa walk away. 
Dejectedly, he rested his head on his hands. I did the right 
thing.I know I did the right thing... But why then, did he feel
like crying?


¡ãTo Be Continued¡ã